I started this week’s portion of the individual learning project by doing a little research on blogs from other authors, poking around to see if anything stuck out to me. It was helpful, and interesting. I read a blog post on how to make a complex antagonist. After that, I felt like I had the motivation to sit down and write; I was already thinking about how I could make my own antagonist deeper as I continued working on my book.
But then things changed.
A tragedy occurred in my family halfway through this week. I finally found the time to work on my project again and thought I was fully prepared to go to work on my villain. But as I sat down to write, I realized I was in no way, shape, or form ready to write. My heart and mind were not in the right place. Not for writing about the bad guy. However, I was able to write one scene that I had been dreading doing for awhile, and that scene was the loss of one of my characters.
It’s very heavy and sad stuff, I know. But for the way my heart and the hearts of my family are feeling right now, it helped to just write. It wasn’t easy; the loss of a character can’t ever really portray what it is like to really lose a loved one, but just letting my mind go as I typed let me sift through my thoughts and emotions. I know that, at some level, my characters are displaying real emotions because it is what I am seeing on the faces of the people I love right now. Creating something relatable for my readers is important to me as a writer. My hope is that, when my readers read this scene, it will help them understand that grieving is okay; that it is natural and needed to find healing. I also hope it helps my readers with lost loved ones know how important it is to remember those who are gone, no matter how much it hurts sometimes.
It was nice to just be able to tell the story I’ve been telling for so long and do what I enjoy doing after a few months break from it. It was relaxing. Writing is always a process that takes some thinking and work (at least for me), but it is something I love doing. As of right now, doing something like that is the best way to get away from reality, at least just for a moment, and by doing so I felt that, in my own way, I was able to honor a very special person who is in the hearts of many.
In dedication to and loving memory of C.H., our very own superhero.
Photo CC-By: Steve Baker
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